Supporting children with additional needs through bereavement and loss.
The reality of losing a child in special education settings is, unfortunately, more common than in mainstream schools due to the medical and complex needs of many students. We look at the key strategies for supporting children with additional needs through these difficult times and provide some FREE ChooseIt Maker activities to help process their feelings.
The ripple effect.
These losses profoundly affect the entire school community, students, staff, and families. In SEND schools, where class sizes are smaller, relationships are close-knit and bonds between staff, students, and peers can feel like family connections. In some cases, schools may experience multiple losses over time, and this can deeply impact both students and staff. Grieving collectively over such losses requires patience, understanding, and appropriate tools to help children and adults process their feelings.
Effects of loss on children with additional needs.
For children with communication challenges, the death of a friend, teacher, or family member can be especially difficult to process and express. Sometimes, children’s grief may manifest in behavioural changes. Having tools to support them in expressing their emotions can help to ease these challenges. Just because a child may have difficulty communicating or appears less expressive, it’s essential not to assume they don’t understand the concept of loss. Children with additional needs may pick up on the emotions around them and may have their own unique ways of processing these feelings.
What bereavement and loss might look like for children with additional needs.
Loss and change can come in many forms. For children with additional needs, grief might arise from: • The death of a friend, teacher, or family member • A significant change in routine • Transitions, such as friends leaving or a staff member moving away • Smaller changes, like a different route to school or a broken/lost toy • Parents separating or a pet dying. • The closure of a favourite shop.
Understanding and supporting grieving children with additional needs.
Helping children process grief requires patience, understanding, and clear communication. Grieving can be particularly challenging for children with additional needs, who may struggle to process and express their feelings. Imagine the difference between a motorway and a winding country road—both reach the same destination, but at different speeds. Children may need extra time to understand and navigate their emotions, and supporting them effectively requires tailored strategies.
Key strategies for supporting grieving children:
Supporting grieving children requires compassion and understanding. Open communication, providing age-appropriate explanations, and creating a safe space for expression are essential. Maintaining routines offers comfort, while creative outlets like drawing can help them process emotions. These simple strategies help children feel supported through their grief.
1. Use Simple, Clear Language
It’s essential to be direct and avoid confusing terms. Words like “gone” or “passed away” can be difficult for children to grasp. Instead, use clear terms such as “died,” adjusting the level of detail based on the child’s understanding. This straightforward approach helps minimise confusion and allows children to process the concept of loss more effectively.
2. Incorporate Symbols and Visual Aids
Support children by using symbols, visual aids, and communication boards to help them express and process their emotions. For this reason, we’ve developed a selection of ChooseIt Maker activities to help children with additional needs explore and understand feelings related to bereavement and loss. Find them below.
3. Model Communication
Demonstrate the use of communication systems by pointing to symbols or words while speaking. This practice shows children how to use these aids to express themselves, making communication more accessible and less intimidating.
4. Provide Objects of Reference
Using tangible items to represent significant people, places, or activities can make abstract concepts more concrete. These objects help children connect their emotions with their experiences and provide comfort through familiar cues.
5. Create a Comforting Environment
The loss of a loved one, a significant change, or even a minor disruption can disturb a child’s sense of stability. Maintaining consistent routines and gently reminding children of their support network can help them feel safe and reassured.
6. Offer Visual Tools
Providing tools like a "comfort choice" board or a "feelings board" allows children to identify their emotions visually and choose comforting activities. These tools promote a sense of control, making it easier for children to express their needs and manage their feelings, which can be especially helpful for non-verbal children.
7. Encourage Questions and Check for Understanding
It’s important to create a safe space where children can ask questions or share their confusion. Staff can check for understanding by inviting children to express what they’ve learned in their own words or by asking simple questions. Communication boards such as the "I Have a Question" ChooseIt Maker activity we’ve created, can support these conversations by offering visual cues that facilitate communication.
8. Introduce Memory Activities
Memory books, trees, or boxes can be valuable tools for children to remember the people, pets, or friends they’ve lost. These activities provide a tangible way for children to process their grief and keep memories alive, contributing to the healing process.
9. Know When to Seek Additional Support
Some children may need specialised support, such as counselling. Staff should recognise the signs that indicate when a child might benefit from additional resources and know where to find that help.
10. Practice Self-Care
Supporting grieving children can be emotionally demanding. Taking care of your own well-being, as it allows you to support the children more effectively. A supported staff creates a more compassionate and resilient community.
ChooseIt Maker bereavement activities:
We’ve developed several ChooseIt Maker activities designed to help children with special needs process and express feelings of grief:
I have a question
A communication board that provides children a way to ask questions and express their curiosity or confusion about bereavement. This tool helps reduce anxiety, encourages understanding, and reassures children that it’s okay to ask questions. Share code: JVVVHT
Comfort Choice Board
A board where children can choose comforting activities or items, promoting a sense of control and helping reduce stress during difficult times. Share code: EXRXBE
Goodbye Bella
A gentle story about Lily and her dog, Bella, which introduces children to the concept of loss in a compassionate way. This story encourages them to express their emotions and ask questions. Share code: MHQDPD
Jamie’s Lost Teddy
This story helps children explore feelings of loss and disappointment when Jamie’s beloved teddy goes missing, emphasising the value of expressing feelings and seeking comfort from loved ones. Share code: FWBGTV
The School Bus Went a Different Way
A story that helps children process the emotions associated with routine changes. Ben feels upset when the bus takes a different route, but reassurance from the driver helps him manage his emotions. Share code: LYLXWM
Feelings Board
A tool to help children express their emotions, especially those who find it hard to communicate their feelings. This visual aid encourages emotional awareness and effective communication. Share code: PNPUCL
Accessing ChooseIt Maker bereavement activities.
Simply use the share code by logging into ChooseIt Maker, and then select ‘Redeem Share Code’. Alternatively, download the FREE app to play.
Helping children find their voice in times of grief.
Grief can create barriers, but with the right tools and support, children can find safe ways to express themselves and navigate their emotions. By using simple language, visual aids, and consistent reassurance, we can guide them through their grief and start the healing journey together.
